Digressions

Tactic “The Dirty Dwarf” Gedran gets bored one day and decides to explore the Deeprun Tram on a WoW PvP server. What does he find in the dark, but 2 night elves… naked! He quietly moves in a little closer to find out what they’re up to, when he overhears:

Artemisa groans softly, biting your neck softly, her breath hard against your neck. “Oh…”

So what does he do with this sudden invasion of privacy? Why, he’s playing a RPG in a role-playing realm, so he does what any typical guy would do in this situation:

Intrigued by this fantastic “roleplaying” experience, I felt it was my duty to perpetuate the general merriment of all. So I gathered my composure and began to engage in my own “roleplaying” theatrics.

Gedran reveals his head from the shadows and begins to unzip his pantaloons.

Unfortunately, the exposed couple don’t find it funny. After an exchange of words, the caught male says to our narrator (this is the best part, by the way):

You sir… are a dirty bastard of a dwarf… and I hope your mother is raped [by] a troll, and then killed and brought up among the ranks of the undead so that I may kill her myself… good day.

All he was doing was roleplaying like they were, right? =) Freakin’ hilarious. For the whole story, including screenshots, click here.

I’ve seen this quiz floating around the internet the past few days so I caved into the pressure and took the test. My results:

Life Expectancy: 81.08
Lower Quartile : 71.64
Median Lifetime: 85.20
Upper Quartile : 93.84

Ah well. I always wanted to be cryogenically frozen before I became a burden anyway. Wait, is it already too late for that? O_o

How much do you love Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Do you love it enough to get all 7 seasons in a single box set? That is 40 DVDs, mind you. Yes, 4-TY. I thought Lord of the Rings was big at 6 (or was it 8?) DVDs. Anyway, November 15 is the day this time killer comes out. Amazon has already been selling all 7 seasons as a pseudo-boxed set for $239.99 but this new set is on pre-sale for only $139.99! What a price difference!

[via Digg]

Tonight was the 2nd night I gave DiDi a bath in the master bathroom tub. He has his own baby bathtub (Primo Eurobath, pictured) that he’s used since birth. When he was younger (and smaller and lighter and didn’t squirm so much) I used to be able to place it across the tub so that it would be hanging from either end and “float” above the tub, so I didn’t have to bend over as far to wash him. Since the 2nd trimester of his life, he’s much more heavier and mobile, so placing it over the tub has become a hazard. I’ve been washing him in the secondary bathroom, since the tub in there is much smaller and I can place the baby tub within the bigger tub and kneel outside it to wash him. (Confusing, I know) Anyway, I wanted Daniel to be able to use his own bathroom without the baby stuff crowding him, so I decided to try to give DiDi a bath in my bathroom tub again.

Yesterday was the first time. He kept squirming and wanting to get up to play with the faucet handles. I gave him the quickest bath I’ve ever given him, since he was squirming so much. I would sit him down in his tub, and right away he would twist his body to pull himself up using the sides of his tub. We repeated this cycle about 385 times. More than ever before I wished I was an alien (or octopus) and had more arms since it took both of my hands to hold him to keep him from slipping. Anyway, today, I decided to try again. However, I didn’t fight him as much when he wanted to get up. I would wash him when he was calm, and let him move around for a little bit before trying to sit him down again to continue bathing him. At one point after he had gotten up, he was turning around and his hand slipped on the side of the tub. Smack! went his head/face against the side of the tub. His face turned beet red instantly, and he screamed. I was in shock - I didn’t move at first. Tony was with me, and right away he was like, “Pick-him-up, pick-him-up, pickhimUP!” As I held my baby, who was crying so hard he wasn’t making any noise because he was taking a huge breath to scream again, I absolutely hated myself for letting that happen. How could I have let that happen? I should’ve known he would slip and hurt himself! I was right there - why wasn’t I being more careful with him? As I stood there clutching my poor baby, Tony had disappeared - he ran to DiDi’s crib and grabbed a toy and ran back to us, hopping from one foot to another and waving the toy in front of his face in an effort to make him laugh and forget. And it worked! What should’ve been the second long scream of pain turned into squeals of laughter. I didn’t know what to think: how wonderful my husband was for thinking so fast, or how ADHD my son must be for forgetting so soon. My hate has been replaced with guilt though. But definitely… no more baths in that bathtub. Not the way we’ve been doing it.

Tony sent me the link to CBS’ The Amazing Race this morning. This season, instead of the usual pairings, the competitors are families of 4! Interesting groups too; not always your typical dad+mom+2½ kids. Anyway, after discussing the teams with people here at work, here are my predictions:

• Gaghan family: 2 marathon-running parents and their 2 kids, ages 12 and 9. I think this team will make it pretty far, if the kids can keep up.
• Schroeder family: I think this will be one of the first teams to go. I see the overly buff father who is “admittedly arrogant and confident” clashing with his 17-year-old “queen of the family” daughter when they have to rough it at times and she won’t want to, the 15-year-old younger brother getting yelled at for being lazy, and everyone just not getting along.
• Aiello family: Hm, a father and his 3 sons-in-law. This is one of the most interesting teams. If they don’t bicker much, I think they’ll go far. Everyone on the team seems to be pretty strong, mentally and physically.
• Rogers family: I think they’ll be one of the firsts to go also. Nothing stands out about this group.
• Black family: They’re black! Hehe. Even though they have one of the youngest competitors in their group, I think they have a good chance at staying in the race for awhile. Hopefully that tae kwon do discipline will kick in when needed.
• Weaver family: Eh. Nothing special. I don’t think they’ll go far though. The kids will probably fight too much and the mom yelling at them the whole time.
• Linz family: Best looking group of them all. Young and “very close”, I think they’ll win, as long as they don’t run into a streak of bad luck.
• Bransen family: Dad and 3 daughters… reminds me of my family! Good looking family, too. I don’t think they’ll go far though… probably too much bickering among the girls.
• Paolo family: This is gonna be a fun family to watch, I think. New York Italians! I don’t think they’ll make it far though… the mom doesn’t look like she can handle many physical challenges.
• Godlewski family: 4 sisters? Sorry you’re the last to arrive because you were bickering too much.

Can you believe there aren’t any teams from California? That was one of the first things we noticed. I hope this season won’t get annoying… for some reason, I just see a lot of bickering just waiting to happen. Ah well. It’s gonna be hard to top Boston Rob’s antics from the last season!

Season premiere on Tuesday, September 27 at 9pm!