Digressions

Since Tony and I got out of work early today because we worked extra earlier this week, we thought it was about time to bring DiDi to see Tony’s parents. The last time we went was just over a week ago, before we left for Vegas, and that was while Amiee, Tony’s sister was in town. After them not having seen the baby for 9 months, I didn’t want to lose communication with them again. (That story’s a whole ‘nother blog in itself.)

I was tired because the baby woke up crying many many times last night, and each time he did I had to actually at least sit up in bed and held him before he would calm down. Not sure what’s wrong. Anywho, when 3:00, 4:00, 5:00 rolled around and my mom still wasn’t home yet, I was debating whether or not we should go. I was thinking to myself, “… we get there at 6:00, then we have to leave by 8ish before the baby starts to get too tired… that’s only about 2 hours… and what if [tony’s mom] insists on feeding him stuff again… i’m tired and therefore have little patience and won’t want to be polite when telling her NO…” yeah, the stream of thought didn’t last much longer because 1) I was tired and didn’t want to waste what little mental energy I still had, and 2) my mom came home soon afterwards. So we packed up and took off. (Since essentially all outings with the baby - even to the grocery store - involves “packing up”.)

By the way, it may not seem like it, but I do have a point I’m getting to. What was it again? Oh yeah. The trip went GREAT. When we got there, they came out to greet us. Both grandparents! I can’t remember the last time that happened. And the whole rest of the evening was smooth sailing from that point on. Didi was wonderful, as usual when we’re out with other people. Everything he did delighted Tony’s parents. It was so heartwarming to see. The only thing that started to get on my nerves was when Tony’s mom kept offering to watch him while we “go to a movie” or “go out to eat”. She mentioned leaving the baby with her again when we discussed our daycare/nanny situation and again even when we mentioned possibly visiting Bill in Japan! I love the offers and I’m 99.99% sure I’ll take them up on it someday, but right now, I’m just not quite ready to leave him alone with other people. But other than that, the evening went great. We even made tentative plans to do other stuff this weekend - either visiting or going shopping or something… all with the baby, of course. But it’s a start! We all talked about their trip to Taiwan and I found out they went to DC last Christmas to be with Amiee so I was just glad they were willing to chat about other things besides the baby. We’re definitely nowhere near being able to discuss the underlying problem - the reason they haven’t seen the baby up til now - but as long as things are good now, I could care less. I know I have a personal mantra of “never go to bed angry” and I’ve always felt that open and honest communication is the most important thing in a relationship, but I’m willing to forego that in this relationship between us and Tony’s parents, if it means having peace in the family.

Tonight was the 2nd night I gave DiDi a bath in the master bathroom tub. He has his own baby bathtub (Primo Eurobath, pictured) that he’s used since birth. When he was younger (and smaller and lighter and didn’t squirm so much) I used to be able to place it across the tub so that it would be hanging from either end and “float” above the tub, so I didn’t have to bend over as far to wash him. Since the 2nd trimester of his life, he’s much more heavier and mobile, so placing it over the tub has become a hazard. I’ve been washing him in the secondary bathroom, since the tub in there is much smaller and I can place the baby tub within the bigger tub and kneel outside it to wash him. (Confusing, I know) Anyway, I wanted Daniel to be able to use his own bathroom without the baby stuff crowding him, so I decided to try to give DiDi a bath in my bathroom tub again.

Yesterday was the first time. He kept squirming and wanting to get up to play with the faucet handles. I gave him the quickest bath I’ve ever given him, since he was squirming so much. I would sit him down in his tub, and right away he would twist his body to pull himself up using the sides of his tub. We repeated this cycle about 385 times. More than ever before I wished I was an alien (or octopus) and had more arms since it took both of my hands to hold him to keep him from slipping. Anyway, today, I decided to try again. However, I didn’t fight him as much when he wanted to get up. I would wash him when he was calm, and let him move around for a little bit before trying to sit him down again to continue bathing him. At one point after he had gotten up, he was turning around and his hand slipped on the side of the tub. Smack! went his head/face against the side of the tub. His face turned beet red instantly, and he screamed. I was in shock - I didn’t move at first. Tony was with me, and right away he was like, “Pick-him-up, pick-him-up, pickhimUP!” As I held my baby, who was crying so hard he wasn’t making any noise because he was taking a huge breath to scream again, I absolutely hated myself for letting that happen. How could I have let that happen? I should’ve known he would slip and hurt himself! I was right there - why wasn’t I being more careful with him? As I stood there clutching my poor baby, Tony had disappeared - he ran to DiDi’s crib and grabbed a toy and ran back to us, hopping from one foot to another and waving the toy in front of his face in an effort to make him laugh and forget. And it worked! What should’ve been the second long scream of pain turned into squeals of laughter. I didn’t know what to think: how wonderful my husband was for thinking so fast, or how ADHD my son must be for forgetting so soon. My hate has been replaced with guilt though. But definitely… no more baths in that bathtub. Not the way we’ve been doing it.